


Breakeven

by makeitbang



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22161478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeitbang/pseuds/makeitbang
Summary: “Did you miss me, traitor?”“About as much as you missed me,” He says.“Liar,” I say, knowing full well that he can’t.  “Then you wouldn’t have been able to stay away.”
Relationships: Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar, Jurdan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 155





	Breakeven

The walk home has been long and mostly quiet. Robin isn’t one for incessant chatter and neither am I. When his hand intertwines with mine, I let it. He’s been a good friend to me and it’s innocent as far as gestures go. I can let him have this one thing before I cut him loose.   
“Well...thanks.” I'm not sure what else to say as we stop in front of my door. Robin takes a step closer and my breathing halts. It’s too close.   
“Jude,” He whispers my name like a precious secret, “I’d like to kiss you now.”   
Our lips are close enough to touch and he wraps an arm around my waist. 

We linger like that for a moment, it would be so easy to make the next move, take him inside and have my fill of him. It would be so easy to love him. But the weight of the signet ring on my finger reminds me of my burdens and who I truly am.   
I push him away with one hand, “It would never work.” I say.   
“So you keep saying.” Robin sighs, turning on his heel. His shoulders slump as he walks away. 

I let out a sigh of my own as I push open my front door. I turn on the lights as I go through the house, making my way to the kitchen. There are few things I like about work and Robin is one of them, but I will never feel for him what he feels for me. I mix a little bit of rum in my coke to take the edge off and grab a bag of chips off the counter. Tonight, I am feeling particularly somber. 

“Music,” I say to the empty apartment, turning to whatever station isn’t playing commercials. I bob my head to the beat as it comes on and sip on my drink. I peek at myself in the mirror that hangs in the hallway. My braid had been blown away by the wind, leaving soft waves in its place. I pout at the realization that my black strappy shirt has _ice cream_ on it, and the red corduroy skirt has managed to hike its way up my waist. Pajamas are sounding like a better and better idea. 

I bump open the door to my room with my hip. I flip on the light switch and I feel my eyes widen, then narrow. Because there, sitting on my bed is _Cardan_. He’s looking at me with the same expression I imagine I am giving him. Full unmasked rage. 

For six months I have been thinking of all the things I would say to him when I saw him, but now, none of those things come to mind. I find myself torn between wanting to rip his flesh from his bones and running into his arms.   
  
“Have you come to take me home?” I ask, trying not to let the desperation show in my voice.   
“No.” He manages through gritted teeth.   
I put my snacks on the dresser and retrieve the knife I keep hidden away. I whirl around, knife in hand to find him standing behind me.   
“Then leave,” I say, pointing the weapon at him, “Leave before I kill you.”   
Cardan closes in on me, blatantly ignoring the knife I press against his neck, “Who is he?”   
The question takes me by surprise. “What?”   
“The mortal.” His nostrils flare and there’s an intensity in his gaze.   
“What do you care, and how did you get into my house?” I realize that this is probably what I should have led with.   
“It doesn’t feel particularly kingly to find one’s wife with another.” The words are coated with ice.   
“You _banished_ your wife, remember?” I say with equal ferocity. “You sent me here to _fucking_ rot. It’s been six months Cardan.”   
Cardan grips my waist, “I know how long it’s been.”   
I can feel his breath on my face and the heat emanating from us both.   
“What is it you really want to know Cardan? Do you want to know if I kissed him?” I taunt. “Do you want to know if I put my hands on his body? My mouth? Do you want to know if I let him bend me over?” 

His breath hitches and I delight in the small revenge. One of his hands leaves my waist to take a fist full of my hair, he gives it a gentle tug so that my lips are angled toward his.   
“Maybe I could be a murderer after all,” He says and closes the distance between us. 

The kiss is dizzying. Our lips are fighting to prove who is hungrier for the other and I never want it to end. I barely register the knife clang onto the floor so that my hands can wander. The smooth planes of his body, the hard ridges of definition all come alive beneath my touch. Cardan still has my hair bunched in his hand, he uses the other to grab my rear and presses my body into him. I let out an involuntary whimper when his lips leave mine, he tugs again so that I am exposing my neck and begins to trail kisses there.   
“Did you miss me?” He breathes against my skin.   
“No,” I say.   
He pauses at the crook of my neck and bites down, hard. I moan at the sensation.   
“Liar.”   
“I hate you,” I say, shoving him onto the bed. 

He sits there, devouring every inch of exposed skin with his eyes as I remove my shirt. I make to shrug out of my skirt, but Cardan pulls me onto him so that I’m straddling him. 

“I like this,” He says, fingering the fabric before his hand disappears under my skirt. I can feel his fingers slowly work their way up my thigh, incinerating the skin as he goes.   
“I don’t give a fuck what you like.” The words don’t come out as menacing as I’d hoped, especially since his fingers start to stroke me through the thin fabric of my panties. 

Cardan wears a smug smirk on his face as my body leans into his touch. I narrow my eyes and wrap a hand around the arrogant bastard's neck. 

“Did you miss me, traitor?” The question comes out a gasp as he pushes my panties aside and strums me like an instrument.   
“About as much as you missed me,” He says.   
“Liar,” I say, knowing full well that he can’t. “Then you wouldn’t have been able to stay away.”   
I see a flicker of doubt, but then his expression softens, “Forgive me.” 

Any retort I’d planned on delivering was gone from my mind the moment his thumb got to work on my clit. My body arched in preparation for my imminent release, and I rode his fingers home. The pleasure rocked through me as I let out a strangled cry and Cardan’s lips crashed into mine, devouring my mouth as if he could capture the sound. 

I don’t break contact as I fumble for his length, delighted that he’s ready for me. I slide onto it and relish in the groan he lets out against my lips. I ride his length slowly, agonizingly slow. His impatience has his hold on my hips so tight that I can feel his nails digging into my skin. I apply a bit of pressure onto his neck. If this is the only punishment I can dish out, so be it.   
“Is this how you impress your little mortal lovers?” His voice is a quiet rumble as he trails kisses along my breasts. 

I will never understand his ability to make me feel so good and so angry at the same time. With a growl, I push him down so that his back is flat on the bed.   
“No, this is,” I growl, turning around so that he can watch as I put my back into it. I bite my lip to stifle any sound that might escape as I pound onto him relentlessly. My only regret in this position is that I can’t see the look on his face when I put a finger in the other hole. 

My rhythm is interrupted when he spreads my cheeks apart to get a better look, but I’m so close that when he slams up into me, I come undone. I barely register his release a few moments later. 

After a few minutes of silence, Cardan gives my rear a firm slap and I turn over to glare at him.   
“Tell me little vixen, why haven’t you come home? Is it the mortal?”   
I roll my eyes and sprawl out on the bed next to him, “Are you really trying to gaslight me right now?”   
Cardan turns onto his side to face me, his confusion evident, “Gaslight?” 

I close my eyes, overwhelmed by all my conflicting emotions. I hate him, I _hate_ him. How can he act like he didn’t betray me? A little part of me thinks that I might deserve it. For trusting him, for betraying him first, for the countless wrongs I’ve done. Suddenly I’m too tired to be angry. My attention is brought back to the present when Cardan traces the lines of my face with his fingertips. 

“Jude, you are the queen of my heart and my kingdom. With all the power of a _King_ ,” He says meaningfully, “So why haven’t you come home?” 

I sigh in exasperation, “Pardon myself? And have you humiliate me back into the mortal realm? Be the laughingstock of faerie trying to prove that I’m not lying?” 

He grips my chin and forces me to look at him, his expression unnerves me. There’s a fierceness in it I’ve rarely seen.   
“You think so little of me?”   
“You promised me an alliance and then banished me.”   
“An alliance?” Cardan lets out a dry laugh, “I thought you’d come marching into the castle a day later, threatening my life and my manhood. That you would take what’s yours and I would take you. The exile wasn’t part of the plan, but it also wasn’t meant to last. I just had to be sure you wouldn’t come to any more harm. When you didn’t respond to my letters, I thought you were punishing me.” 

I blinked. _Harm_? “Bullshit.”   
“Do I have to spell it out for you? Is nothing I’ve said enough?”   
He must see the distrust written plainly on my face because he sighs, “I am madly in love with you Jude Duarte-Greenbriar. I married you not to have an alliance but so that I could call you mine. Never leave me again, even if I’m stupid enough to send you away,” He plants a soft kiss on my lips, “Please forgive me.” 

My heart is about to pound out of my chest, surely, he can hear it. Cardan had always been generous with his affections but _love_? It was something I never thought I’d hear. Could it be a deception? It _can’t_ be a lie. My own heart wanted so desperately to believe him. 

“Only if you never accuse me of infidelity again,” I say, jamming a finger into his chest.   
He grabs my hand to press a kiss onto my palm, “To be fair, you looked like you were having an intimate moment. I can’t tell you what it felt like to watch him touch you. It led me my mind down a dark path.”   
“I thought about it,” I whisper, surprising myself.   
Cardan looks away, “I couldn’t blame you if you had.”   
I shake my head, “I didn’t know if it would be worth trying to build a normal life here. Then I realized that I can’t. I can’t love anyone else but you.” 

The shock on his face is apparent at my rushed words but he recovers quickly. Cardan wraps me in his arms and rains sweet little kisses all over my face.   
“My Queen, let me show you how devoted I am to you and our vows.”   
I laugh despite myself, “Okay, but it’ll have to be in the shower.”   
He cocks a brow and grins, “I’m intrigued.” 


End file.
